Finding Love and Affinity in The Throes of A Change.
Author: Kunbi Korostensky.
When potential clients call me to inquire about coaching for their various life
changes, I find myself asking them to tell me where they are right then. This
helps me get a good sensing of how connected they are with their inner self and
emotions.
A few who are able to say precisely where they are emotionally
tell me they are ready to move on but feel stuck. Others are not sure that they
are able to let go at all. While again some people simply don't know what
they're feeling.
This is okay and in fact one of the most challenging
things in times of a change is being able to determine your emotional parameter.
Irrelevant of the changes people experience, there's a common factor.
This is the amount of self criticism people heap on themselves.. It's almost as
if people want to make themselves pay for their own pain and anguish.
But since flogging yourself or blaming others won't benefit you except
to keep you stuck, you need to do something different.
To shift your
focus and stir away from casting blame, here is what you can do. Apply the most
valuable tool you possess, the gift of love. Love is a natural balm capable of
not only banishing pain and fear, but also injecting you and your life with new
vigour. Love, when applied consciously can also imbue you with a new sense of
purpose and direction.
When you find yourself going through a difficult
change, simply Imagine to yourself how love springs out of you and takes charge
of the situation. Ask yourself these questions and observe what happens.
1.
What would love say here?
2. What would love do here?
3. How would love
behave here?
4. What is the most loving attitude I can have for myself and
others in this situation?
Here is what happened to an angry client whom
I encouraged to apply these questions to her situation..
She said at
first it was difficult for her to imagine the love emerging from her because she
was extremely upset. But as she kept on asking the questions, she became calmer
and was able to let the love within take over.
While moving from one
question to the other, she realised that she had also contributed her own share
to exacerbate the situation. Her "loving part" showed her what she could now do
to make her feel better. She informed me that she never thought she would ever
feel any compassion for the colleague who in her own words "stabbed her in the
back." And yet she did.
By the time she came to asking herself the last
question about the most loving attitude she could have for herself, she had
already gained deep clarity. She knew what she had to do and was prepared to do
it.
One most challenging aspect of life changes is dealing with emotions
of anger or betrayal. This can be very traumatic. But if you are prepared to
take a step back and work with the gift of love, you might just discover the
right tool to help release your traumatised emotion.. This can also help you
recognize your true affinity, which lies in the power to choose.
© 2006,
Kunbi Korostensky N.D., Psychotherapist and Certified Life Coach uses her
psychic gifts to help women effortlessly overcome their struggle with life
changes. Check out her ebooklet: Top 10 holistic Questions to Embrace Change and
Grow at http://www.embracingchanges.com.BooksandCDs.html